I Love Devotionals by Wendy van Eyck

Do I have what it takes? A devotional for your first day at a new job

2017-10-30T11:06:00.000+02:00

**I wrote this on 1 June 2017. For some reason, I didn’t post it then. I found it now, and thought maybe it’ll give some of you who might be beginning something in November, the courage to believe that you have what it takes!**

It’s my first day at my new job, my new business really. It’s a month since I left full-time employment to pursue the life that I want.

I just told Xylon there are butterflies in my stomach and I am so nervous for my first day at work, I mean in my own business.

And there is one question that keeps coming to the front of my mind, “Do I have what it takes?”

To be my own boss.

To find clients.

To keep clients happy.

To make enough to cover the bills.

I sit googling Bible verses about having what it takes.

The first one that comes up, 1 Chronicles 28:20:

David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you…

I’m taking the verse out of context. I might not be building a temple to God like Solomon but I need David reminding me to “do the work...God is with you.”

So I stop googling and I print the verse out. I resist the temptation to make a pretty design with it. There is work to do. I print it and paste it on the edge of my computer screen. Later, I find a highlighter and I stretch green over the words I need to be reminded of.

Today, this promise will remind me that I have what it takes, not in my strength but because God is with me.

Today, this promise will be enough.

Prayer: Thank you, that you are with me today, and every day. When I feel like I don’t have what it takes remind me to be strong and courageous and do the work you’ve given me.

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What I did when I felt like my life wasn't enough

2017-09-29T06:00:00.000+02:00

In April, I quit my job. In May, I quit using social media apps on my phone.

I didn’t expect the anxiety deleting my social media apps would cause.

I wrote about my journey to what I call now digital minimalism on iBelieve.com this week. I want to share something here about it that I didn’t share in the post on iBelieve.

I loved going on Instagram before I deleted the social media apps. If you’d asked, I would have told you it was my favourite social app. I found the pictures soothing and enjoyed quick glimpses into my friends and families lives.

After deleting the apps, I’d go on Instagram from time to time and scroll through the pics. I started to recognise a feeling I hadn’t expected each time I opened it: discontent.

I’d scroll through a few pictures and feel so discontent with my life. I’d see pictures of people travelling and wish it could be me. I’d look at friends spending time together and wonder why I wasn’t there. Photos of meals I’d love to eat, pictures of places I’d love to run through…The list was endless.

I would close the app and sit there feeling like my life isn’t enough.

I didn’t like feeling that way. One day after opening and quickly closing the app after the bubbles of discontent floated up I sat and thought about what was happening. Was I really discontent with my life? Were these feelings real or were they a reaction to using the app?

I thought about how I felt before I went on Instagram.

I felt like I had the best life.

I loved my life.

It felt full.

My life felt enough.

I felt content with my life.

I go on Instagram less and less. Before I quit using social apps on my phone, it was a couple of times a day. After, it was once a week, then once a fortnight and now I can’t remember the last time I went on.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few months. And I keep coming back to this verse Psalm 16:11 (Voice),

Instead, You direct me on the path that leads to a beautiful life. As I walk with You, the pleasures are never-ending, and I know true joy and contentment.

Part of me has wondered if choosing to stay off Instagram is the coward’s way of learning to be content in every situation.

This verse helped me realise that we can choose contentment. That is what the “Instead” signifies to me. “Instead” means to do something in preference of something else. It means I can choose going outside over going online.

Instead, has become a powerful word for me as I pursue digital minimalism in my life.

I could feel discontentinsteadI thank God for everything he has given me.

I could feel aloneinstead I remember God is Emmanuel (God with us).

I could feel worriedinsteadI look at the Sparrows and wonder at how God takes care of them and me.

I chose this translation of Psalm 16:11 because it reminds me that when I choose to look to God instead of dwelling on my feelings, my actions lead me toward a beautiful life of true contentment.

Some translations write this verse as “In your presence is fullness of joy”. Isn’t that a great description of contentment?

Want to read more of my story about what happened when I deleted all the social media apps from my phone? Click here to read the full story on iBelieve.com

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Are you burnt out? Here’s one way to slow down.

2017-05-08T12:53:00.002+02:00

The running club, I'm a member of, has a chant that the pacemaker sings when the group he's leading needs to slow down. It goes:

Easy. Easy. Ea-Zee.

We sing this as we run and slow our pace down so we don’t burn out too early and fail to finish the race.

For the last couple of months, I've been following a half marathon running plan. The run today was set at a comfortable pace. It was slow enough that I could walk some of the distance if I wanted and still finish. It was a recovery run because I've been doing some long, fast distances.

Slowing down isn't easy for me.

I kept finding myself running at too fast today, running at race pace when I should be going slow.

Easy. Easy. Ea-Zee.

I'd tell myself this. Hearing my running club in my head, slowing down the rhythm of my feet.

As I caught myself running too fast, I thought about how it’s not only in running that I don’t give myself permission to slow down.

My personality is prone to burnout – I’m an INFJ-T in case you're wondering – and I just burnt out at my last job.

I’m not a doctor or medical professional, but here are a few signs that you might be burnt out or heading towards burnout:

- Lack of interest and motivation in things you used to enjoy

- General feeling of exhaustion or being completely spent (could be mental, emotional or physical)

- Feeling like what you’re doing doesn’t matter anymore

- Increased illness due to a weakened immune system

- Depression, anxiety or anger

Burnout is a state of chronic stress. If you are experiencing some of these symptoms (there are more listed here) it should be a wake-up call that something needs to change. Burnout doesn’t go way on its own, you have to change something to get better.

Lately, I've been trying to take the time to recover from burnout. It's tough because my inclination is to run to the next thing. To look for clients and work to fill the financial and time gap my job left.

I find I need to remind myself, over-and-over,

Easy. Easy. Ea-Zee.

Give myself permission to slow down, to let my burdens be light.

I don't know about you, but too often I'm trying to prove something: that I can run fast, work well, look holy, and I fail to hear Jesus' invitation to run life at his pace:

Easy. Easy. Ea-Zee.

I don't know what caused your burnout but I know Jesus never meant for you to carry "hard" on your own.

Jesus is there like the pacemaker of the running club. He can't force you to slow down but he can guide your pace and ease your burdens.

So next time you’re going too fast, slow down long enough to hear Jesus’ saying, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:30 – MSG)

Ponder: What changes do you need to make in your life to stop being burnt out?

Prayer: God, I'm tired and worn out. I need you to me here because I'm too burnt out to go to you. Give me the time I need to take a real rest. Open my eyes to the opportunities to slow down that you give me. Show me the changes, big and small that I need to make to recover. Walk with me and teach me when I need to take it easy, easy, ea-zee. Thank you that I as I let you shoulder the hard things you will teach me how to live freely and lightly. Amen.

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*****

When you need to take a leap of faith

2017-05-01T05:00:00.000+02:00

Look at the birds in the sky. They do not store food for winter. They don't plant gardens. They do not sow or reap—and yet, they are always fed because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are even more precious to Him than a beautiful bird. If He looks after them, of course He will look after you. Matthew 6:26 (VOICE)

When I resigned from my job Xylon told me, "You have to take a month off. Before you look for work or think of the next thing, you must take May to rest."

I loved the idea and I hated it.

I leaned into the idea of days reading books and I pushed against the idea of not contributing to costs.

I began jotting down a list of hobbies I wanted to try and I wrote lists of potential clients to approach for freelance work.

I collected a pile of books to read and I started studying a free part-time course to be a better digital marketer.

I submitted and I resisted.

The last day at my job fell on Wednesday.

Thursday, a country-wide holiday to commemorate the first democratic vote in South Africa, started like a holiday should. Breakfast with my parents - in town for a dentist visit – and a cardboard box tied with string and filled with cheesecake to take home for an after dinner treat.

However, a few hours into my first day of holiday I felt overwhelmed by the idea of a month of rest stretching ahead of me.

I found Xylon working on his Mountain Bike in the garage, "What am I going to do with one whole month of doing nothing?"

As he reached for a tool to tighten the water cage on his bike, he responded, "You'll figure it out. Before long you’ll have more things to do than you have time."

A few minutes later, he rides off to meet his cousin.

I looked around the garage for a project and spotted an old piece of driftwood I had rescued from the beach months ago. It seemed like a good place to start so I dragged it outside and collected my tools.

As I moved the wire brush backward and forwards to remove the dirt and old bark, I thought about this month: The value of it. The weight of it. The preciousness of it. How I don’t want to waste it. And how I really don’t want to waste it by worrying.

I know it's unlikely I'll get this gift again: a full month to take care of myself, to recover from burnout, to refresh my soul.

Every time I mention I worry about the future, Xylon tells me how every other day God shows him an animal that isn't worrying about where its next meal will come from. He keeps reminding me we need to be more like the animals and birds, more trusting that God will take care of us.

Brush. Brush. Blow the sawdust away and start again on another section of driftwood.

As I worked to find the beauty in the wood it came to me how I need to spend this month. I need to live as if come 1 June I have 3 golden clients waiting for me to start working with them. I have to live this month secure that Xylon and God will take care of me.

You see we can't really afford to live on one salary so I know when Xylon says, "rest" it costs him something.

What it's taken me over a month to realize is that when I say, "Yes, I’ll rest", it pays Xylon back in trust and respect. And to him, that's worth the extra hours he'll have to put in to pay the bills.

When I say "yes", and allow myself time to refresh my soul after burning out, I'm showing God I believe He will take care of me.

It is scary! I have had to fight the part of me that wants to write proposals for clients, make meetings and guarantee an income in June.

If it wasn't scary there would be no need to take a leap of faith and believe I am even more precious to God than a beautiful bird. If He looks after them, of course, He will look after me!

Brush, brush. Whispering a prayer as I go that God will help me live with confidence that he is taking care of the future even as I rest in Him.

Ponder: What areas in your life do you need to take a leap of faith in right now and trust that God will provide for you?

Prayer: God, I'm scared. I don't know how [fill in your worry] will turn out. You know how much I want to take control of the situation, how much I want to fix it but instead, I am choosing to trust you. I am choosing to live with confidence that you will look after me. Help me to rest in you today and when the time is right to know which doors you want me to knock on. Thank you for taking such good care of me. Amen.

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*****

One thing to remember when life doesn't turn out the way you expect

2017-01-26T05:30:00.000+02:00

I guess one of the reasons I stopped writing is because I finally realised that I don't have everything figured out.

By 34, I thought I'd know what I wanted to do with my life.

I imagined I'd have children. Instead I'm not sure if we want children. And if we do if we could have our own or if we'd want to adopt.

I expected that I would found the career that I wanted to do and I’d be loving it or that I’d be stay-at-home mom to a bunch of kids. Instead I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do and I’m not sure I’d want to be a full-time mom even if we could afford it.

I thought I’d know how to clean the oven, or roast potatoes, or that I didn’t have to finish a book if I didn’t love it.

Maybe you thought you'd be married. Or you never thought you'd be divorced or widowed. Or you thought you’d be single and now you’ve got a husband and 4 kids.

Don't get me wrong I have a good life and I wouldn’t change it. It's just that I’m not living the life 15 year old me expected. I wonder how many of us are?

There's a story in the Bible about a woman called Ruth who’s life didn't turn out the way she expected (you can read her story in the book of Ruth - it's only 4 chapters).

Ruth married an immigrant, and then he died shortly afterwards, along with his brother- and father-in-law. After these tragedies, her mother-in-law, Naomi, decides to return to her land of birth. In those times her daughter-in-laws were expected to go with her so they got their belongings together and the three women start walking towards Bethlehem.

A few hours into the journey, Naomi tells Ruth and her other daughter-in-law, Orpah, to go back to their families and the only lives they’ve known. Orpah cries, kisses her mother-in-law and heads back.

Ruth's life wasn't what she expected at that moment and she had to make a choice. I wonder for how long her life hadn’t been what she expected. She lived in a time where she likely didn’t marry for a love but because her marriage made sense to both families. The bible tells us so little of her past that I wonder if she had a home that was worth running back to or if unknown future was better than the past she’d lived through.

Naomi urges her to leave again but Ruth responds:

Stop pushing me away, insisting that I stop following you!

Wherever you go, I will go.

Wherever you live, I will live.

Your people will be my people.

Your God will be my God.

Wherever you die, I will also die and be buried there near you.

May the Eternal One punish me—and even more so—if anything besides death comes between us. (Ruth 1:16-17)

They journey on and arrive in Naomi's hometown. Things are tough for the two widows. Ruth went out each day to beg for food. She bought home scraps that farmers didn't want. Yup, life really wasn't going to plan.

Ruth spent her days following behind harvesters picking up stalks of grains left behind. One of Naomi's relatives recognized her and showed kindness to Ruth allowing her to pick up scraps in his fields. Then Ruth, encouraged by Naomi, sneaks into the barn, where he sleeps, and practically asks him to marry her. Somehow, I don't think she pictured her life turning out that way.

Long story short, Ruth and Boaz marry and they have a child, who has a child, who has a child called David, who the bible describes as a man after God’s heart.

The thing that encourages me is that Ruth would never have known this.

We know how things worked out because we know how the story ends. But Ruth didn't.

When she died she would not have known the role she played in changing the world. She would only have looked back and thought, "Well, my life didn't go the way I expected!"

I think most of us won't know either how twists and turns in our lives have an impact on eternity. But God does.

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How to make spending time with God feel less like a chore and more like a holiday

2016-09-08T08:08:00.001+02:00

Last week, Xylon and I were in the Kruger National Park for 8 glorious days. The phone didn’t ring, emails didn’t ping, social media was ignored.

We spotted buffalo and elephant as we drove through the park’s gates, then nothing for a while, and then giraffe. Hours later we saw our first cats, lions by a waterhole, tiny specks without binoculars.By the time we reached our campsite we had seen leopard too. 10-seconds of spots as it disappeared into the bush.

On our last day, we climbed out our cars at our favourite lookout point, which drops down suddenly beneath our feet to a riverbed and then opens up to a savanna. As we walked across to the wooden barrier, I said something about an elephant in the distance. To the right of us we heard scurrying and turned to see two klipspringer move away from us to safety. Then Xylon heard a rustle in the bush and points, “There’s a rhino in the bush below.” We crouched low for a better view and saw an elephant breaking branches. Then Xylon pointed at three bright birds flying past. Wild parrots. We don't want to leave to keep standing there for a just a minute longer.

Time always passes too quickly for us in Kruger and by our last day Xylon spoke while driving to the exit, “We should have booked for longer.”

It's never enough. When we came for 3 weeks we tried to figure out how to stay just a few more days.

We never want to leave.

My husband, Xylon, reckons it is because it is impossible to experience all the possibilities in the bush. When you’re there you never know what is just round the corner. It's impossible to experience all the possibilities, all the wonder, all the things God has for us.

I leave full. Overflowing. But I know that I could take more. That I could never have too much.

I think about how my relationship with God should be like that.

Insatiable.

Lost in the mystery of all the wonders to still to be experienced.

Always hungry for more, trying desperately to figure out ways to spend longer in his presence.

To join the Psalmist saying,

O True God, You are my God, the One whom I trust.

I seek You with every fiber of my being.

In this dry and weary land with no water in sight,

my soul is dry and longs for You.

My body aches for You, for Your presence.

(Psalm 63:1)

I don’t know about you, but my regular experience of God isn't one of continuous thirst for more. Spending time with God doesn’t always feel like a trip to Kruger. Often, it feels like an add-on or an obligation, instead of the place I want to be more than any other. I rarely leave his presence thinking, “I wish I could have had another hour with God.”

There have been stretches in my life when I’ve had that feeling but it’s not consistent. It’s not an every day thing. As I left Kruger I thought about how I wanted that, how I want to always be aware of that I haven’t experienced all the wonders of God.

I realised I probably need to be more intentional about it. One thing I’ve learnt is that if I don’t take action to change things, things stay the same. So I as we drove back I figured out a plan to create space in my life so spending time with God doesn't feel like a chore.

I don't live in Kruger but I anticipate it. I book it. I am fully present when I'm there. I don't pick up my phone. I just absorb, enjoy, worship. Open my eyes to see all the wonders God has made. Pause to watch the sunset. Take note of the birds singing. Watch a giraffe awkwardly stretch it’s legs to drink.

What can I learn from my Kruger experience that can help me look forward to spending time with God?

I’m starting with my daily walk with Oliver, our dog. Viewing this as a moment to anticipate time with God. This works for me because it is already part of my daily routine so I can plan for it. It happens outside so it’s easier for me to not be distracted by work. At the moment it’s not super spiritual and it’s not long. It's just a few minutes on my walk when I talk to God, look around me and take in the wonders that he is surprising me with.

This week it’s been all about wildflowers. It’s spring here and every day I’ve seen a new flower springing up in the field where I walk Oliver, a small reminder that when it comes to God there is always more to experience.

Four things I'm doing now to make spending time with God feel less like a chore:

1. Anticipating time with God

2. Planning for it

3. Turning off distractions

4. Opening my eyes and take in what he is showing me

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*****

One question that can be a lifesaver if you're tired and worn out

2016-09-05T05:30:00.000+02:00

I burnt out.

Somewhere towards the end of June I was working 70-hour weeks. I was exhausted.

I thought about blogging. And then I thought about how I'd feel if I tried to find 2-3 hours to do this in the middle of everything else.

I missed a blog deadline (given by myself) and then another.

Then I gave myself a pass.

A pass to not feel guilty about it. To not shame myself. A pass to give myself grace for this period.

Work slowed around the end of July but I was still exhausted. I thought about how I should blog something but I had no desire, I had nothing to say.

So I gave myself a pass: A pass to recover. A pass to find my words again. A pass to live freely and lightly.

My mom kept saying, "I think it's time you blog again."

I shrugged the words off, because just the thought exhausted me and this was never meant to be a place of passionless work. It was meant to be a place of rest, of healing, of giving and receiving grace. It was meant to be a place that bought me, and hopefully you, joy.

10 days ago, Xylon and I went on holiday – my first proper break since a week off in December. Proper for me means, not opening my computer, no work email pinging for my attention, no social media monitoring (work or personal), no phone calls.

And out of it I found space to breathe. The desire to write again. So I’m back and you should find a regular flow of posts in your inbox.

I wanted to share this story here though because maybe some of you need to be reminded that you can give yourself a pass.

It's okay to not be able to do everything, all the time. You don't have to carry burdens beyond what you can bear.

If you want to know the truth none of us can.

One of the most well-known bible verses is Matthew 11:30 of Jesus saying:

For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.

I used to think that meant I had to keep on going after I'd given my burdens to him because now they are lighter.

I'm like that. If you ask to help me carry things I'll keep the heaviest ones not to burden you down. I even do that with Jesus. Give him the lighter stuff. It's only when I come to the end of myself that I say, "Jesus, have it all." But by that stage I’m so far gone I need to be carried away in a stretcher.

That is what happened to me at the end of June. I pushed so far and then I couldn’t any more. I dropped this blog. I managed to keep all the other balls I was juggling in the air but I couldn’t keep this one up in the air. And that is okay.

I love the words of Matthew 11:28-30 in the Message:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

For me, that is what this pass is. It's finding the unforced rhythms of grace again. Watching how Jesus does it. It's giving myself space to discover joy where stress now resides.

A pass is an opportunity to let myself off the hook of high expectations – my own and others. Because living up to others expectations is exhausting (can I get an “Amen” in the comments?)

I don’t know what you need a pass for. In fact if you’re anything like me you would probably be hard pressed to say what that thing is too so here is one question to ask yourself that might help you put a finger on it:

What is the one thing that used to bring me joy but now brings me only stress?

What comes to mind?

Are you the type of person who loves having people over for dinner but the thought of cooking is draining you? Give yourself a pass for two weeks. Allow yourself to order take out pizza or clear your appointment book.

Do you face every Monday wondering if you should get another job? Give yourself a pass for two weeks. Be that person who leaves the office first.

It could be a relationship or a hobby or (fill in the blank by answering the question).

At the end of two weeks re-evaluate and if you need to give yourself a pass for another two weeks.

I want to be clear a pass isn't:

An excuse not to take responsibility
To hurt someone
To do something badly

A pass is:

An opportunity to find joy
A chance to learn to live freely and lightly
A moment to pause and reflect

Finally, thanks to all of you for giving me the opportunity to pause and reflect. I’m looking forward to sharing with you here again. And I’d love to hear from you about the things in your life that you need a pass for.

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*****

One simple tip to help you overcome insecurity

2016-06-02T06:56:00.000+02:00

A Labrador ran into us on a walking trail on Sunday.

It had the saddest eyes. We took one look at it and knew it was lost. It ran from group to group looking for the people it belonged too.

As we walked along the path, we kept asking people if they’d lost a dog. Each person said, “Are you talking about the Labrador? It looks so lost.”

Sometimes I look just as lost as that dog.

I’ve spent a lot of my life feeling insecure and anxious. In many ways I’m that lost Labrador running around God’s Kingdom saying, “Am I yours?” and “Do you want me?”

There’s a famous story in the Bible about Jesus feeding 5000 people from five loaves and two fish:

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, Jesus gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.

I often wonder what would have happened when Jesus fed the 5000, if he forgot whom he belonged to, and grabbed for himself first, scared that there wouldn’t be enough to go around.

If Jesus had said to his disciples, “You take those four loaves and one fish and hope it’s enough to feed the 12 of you. I need the other loaf and fish or I won’t have the strength to preach.”

I think Jesus didn’t act that way because he was secure.

When I look at Jesus I see a man who knew whom he belonged to.

I look at his Son, Jesus, and I know that being God’s beloved doesn’t guarantee an easy life or the outcome that I want. But there is something about the way that Jesus lived his life with wild trust in the one that made him that I want to emulate.

When I forget that I belong to God I get all insecure. I start to worry about tomorrow. I fear I won’t have enough money to the pay bills and I start thinking that no one likes me. I start grabbing every thing in site and hoarding it for myself – just in case – because I forget God will look after me.

It’s only recently that I’ve started to feel more secure as a Child of God.

There is one simple thing I’ve done that has changed all this for me. I’ve started praying, “Abba, I belong to you” most nights as I fall to sleep and that’s made such a big difference to me accepting my identity in Jesus.

I don’t only pray it as I fall to sleep. I pray it as I wait for big results. I pray it when I’m not sure of the outcomes. I pray it as I walk our dog.

I find reassurance in the idea that I am God’s beloved.

Treasured, liked, precious to him.

Jesus lived out of a place of security, loved out of heart of abundance and gave out of a well that never ran dry.

That is what security does. Security allows us to trust that God will always have more for us, he’ll always take care of us, and he’ll never leave us.

If you’re hungry to leave your insecurity behind and trust the one who hung the stars just to take your breath away here’s a prayer to pray:

Lord, you know I’m still figuring out who I am in you but thank you that I don’t need to wonder around lost looking for a place to belong.

Abba, I belong to you. I belong to the one who breathed life into my dead bones, paints the sky to remind me of new mercies and provides a safe harbour when storms rage.

I desire to be more like Jesus. I want his untamed trust in you. He could laugh at the days ahead because he knew you held tomorrow, his finances and fears.

Today, as I live out of a place of security help me to know in the most hidden parts of me that I am yours and you are mine.

Amen.

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If you’re tired and troubled today, read this

2016-05-23T05:30:00.000+02:00

Sometimes I make bible reading and spending time with God so complicated

I think I need a journal and quiet.

Or I think that I won’t understand what I read so I need a concordance, or a bible study, or a daily devotional, or a group of people to help me understand.

And the more tired and troubled I am the harder I try to reach God with my actions.

Yesterday as I scrolled through twitter my eyes paused to read this:

If you're tired or troubled today read Psalm 40. If you're still tired and troubled read and pray through Psalm 40.
— Barnabas Piper (@BarnabasPiper) May 22, 2016

And I really liked that.

It was so simple.

I googled Psalm 40 and I read it once.

Then I read it again – like a prayer for this time.

I remembered that God bends to listen even when I can barely raise my voice to speak his name.

So today, if you're feeling tired and troubled I encourage you to read this, and if that isn't enough use David's words to find your own voice to speak to the one who made you:

Psalm 40 (The Voice)

For the worship leader. A song of David.

I waited a long time for the Eternal;

He finally knelt down to hear me.

He listened to my weak and whispered cry.

He reached down and drew me

from the deep, dark hole where I was stranded, mired in the muck and clay.

With a gentle hand, He pulled me out

To set me down safely on a warm rock;

He held me until I was steady enough to continue the journey again.

As if that were not enough,

because of Him my mind is clearing up.

Now I have a new song to sing—

a song of praise to the One who saved me.

Because of what He’s done, many people will see

and come to trust in the Eternal.

Surely those who trust the Eternal—

who don’t trust in proud, powerful people

Or in people who care little for reality, chasing false gods—

surely they are happy, as I have become.

You have done so many wonderful things,

had so many tender thoughts toward us, Eternal my God,

that go on and on, ever increasing.

Who can compare with You?

Sacrifices and offerings are not what You want,

but You’ve opened my ears, and now I understand.

Burnt offerings and sin offerings

are not what please You.

So I said, “See, I have come to do Your will,

as it is inscribed of me in the scroll.

I am pleased to live how You want, my God.

Your law is etched into my heart and my soul.”

I have encouraged Your people with the message of righteousness,

in Your great assembly (look and see),

I haven’t kept quiet about these things;

You know this, Eternal One.

I have not kept Your righteousness to myself, sealed up in the secret places of my heart;

instead, I boldly tell others how You save and how loyal You are.

I haven’t been shy to talk about Your love, nor have I been afraid to tell Your truth

before the great assembly of Your people.

Please, Eternal One, don’t hold back

Your kind ways from me.

I need Your strong love and truth

to stand watch over me and keep me from harm.

Right now I can’t see because I am surrounded by troubles;

my sins and shortcomings have caught up to me,

so I am swimming in darkness.

Like the hairs on my head, there are too many to count,

so my heart deserts me.

O Eternal One, please rescue me.

O Eternal One, hurry; I need Your help.

May those who are trying to destroy me

be humiliated and ashamed instead;

May those who want to ruin my reputation

be cut off and embarrassed.

May those who try to catch me off guard,

those who look at me and say, “Aha, we’ve trapped you,”

be caught in their own shame instead.

But may all who look for You

discover true joy and happiness in You;

May those who cherish how You save them

always say, “O Eternal One, You are great and are first in our hearts.”

Meanwhile, I am empty and need so much,

but I know the Lord is thinking of me.

You are my help; only You can save me, my True God.

Please hurry.

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*****

When you long for beauty, remember this

2016-05-09T05:30:00.000+02:00

Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
Psalm 23:6 (MSG)

The evenings have been far from perfect lately.

Winter has been beating back summer with wind and rain and temperatures that leave me watching my breath hover in the air as I exhale. The trees have left their leaves on the ground like discarded clothes from a grand party.

The last few evenings I’ve been pulling on a jacket and taking our dog for walks in the field below our house. He runs around like he has never had a walk before.

On each walk, I pause on a mound that allows the farmland in the distance to come into view. If I time it right I can see the sun falling behind the rolling hills. The sky streaked with oranges, pinks, purples, blues.

I’ve stood and watched this beauty each evening, the sunset God is painting for me, the sunset he puts there just to remind me that his beauty and love will never stop chasing after me.

I’ve a cousin who teaches her kids to remember every time they see a sunset that God’s love for them will never change.

I remember passing many evenings with Xylon in hospital. The rooms he was put in almost always afforded me a view of the sunsetting, and gave me a moment of beauty each evening to remember God loves me. God’s love and beauty found me in one of the ugliest places.

Life can have so many ugly, hard moments, but I’ve found God’s beauty and love pursue me in all of them.

Many days I need this reminder:
God's beauty and love chase after me every day of my life. (<- tweet this)

Some times God’s love and beauty look like a sunset, sometimes gift from a friend, or time with a loved one. But they are there, chasing you every day of your life.

How have you seen God’s beauty and love chasing you?

P.S. I don't often use my own photos on the blog but this time I thought I'd share a few photos from the spot were I stop to stand and stare and God's beauty and love chasing me. That is our dog, Oliver, looking back at you in the top pic.

*****

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When you need God to do SOMETHING already, remember this

2016-04-28T05:30:00.000+02:00

"Is it possible to get a cup of coffee?" my husband, Xylon, asks the waiter going past our table at the hotel.

The waiter pauses and then replies with a smile, "Anything is possible."

This has stuck with me all week. It's reminded me that often the limitations I see are limitations I create in my mind.

I know it's not always that way. I'm praying for miracles for two people right now. I'm praying the kind of prayers for them that reach outside of what doctors and our medicine can heal.

This conversation with a waiter has buoyed my faith. It's reminded me that I serve a God who isn't limited by what I think is possible. And it made me think of the story in the bible of an old man and his wife. Both were well past the age of having children, in fact they were in their nineties, but God promised them there children would be as many as the sands on the seashore.

The old woman actually laughed when she heard this. Wouldn’t you?

If God told you he wouldn’t only do the impossible but fulfill all your wildest dreams, wouldn’t you laugh? It was impossible, but God did it. He gave this old couple a child when there is no way they should have been able to give birth naturally.

In Romans 4:19 you can find this written about what happened, "And Abraham’s faith did not weaken, even though, at about 100 years of age, he figured his body was as good as dead—and so was Sarah’s womb."

I sometimes wonder if Abraham never had a child at 100 what would have happened. What the bible would have recorded in Hebrews?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and I think that even if Abraham didn’t have a child in his old age it would still have read and Abraham’s faith did not weaken.

Even if Abraham had died childless I believe his faith would never have wavered that God could still fulfil his promise to him.

Abraham might not have known how God would have done it but he would have believed that God could. Would have put his hope in the fact that God was in control.

Faith isn’t dependent on me it relies on God. (<-- Tweet this)

Faith believes that impossible is just an opportunity for God to do something outrageous and beautiful and breathtaking.

Is there something in your life right now that seems impossible?

Not just something that is hard or difficult but something that is impossible, something like having a baby when you are a hundred years old?

For God, ANYTHING is possible. (<-- Tweet this)

*****

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The one thing you need to stop believing about yourself

2016-01-18T05:30:00.000+02:00

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)

One of my clearest childhood memories involves my desire to be perfect.

I’m about 7 or 8 and I'm sitting on the carpet in my speech therapists office. And I’m crying. Sobbing, the kind that you can’t catch your breath for, the kind of tears that you cry when you’ve lost something of great worth.

The tears were all because I kept doing a task wrong. I had to read a list of questions and then choose a tile with the corresponding picture. Once they were all placed on a grid I could flip the grid over, and if I was correct there would be a picture on the other side. I had been doing this for a couple of sessions but still could not get a complete picture to appear on the other side.

I was distraught because I failed at this task. Not just that task but reading and writing in general. I came to be in the speech therapists office because my teacher couldn’t understand a thing I wrote. My brain scrambled up the vowels. The sounds I heard, and the vowels I wrote or spoke, had no correlation.

That day in the speech therapists office the weight of imperfection made me feel like life wasn’t worth living. The tears fell. Adele, the speech therapist, kept asking me what was wrong. I stammered, “I’m not perfect.”

Adele spoke softly to me. I don’t remember much of what she said but I do remember her telling me that, no one is perfect and if we’d been perfect Jesus wouldn’t have had to die so we could be with him forever. I remember that this soothed me.

I’m retelling this story now because it’s one of the reasons I’m embracing “well” this year. I’m learning that “well” and “perfect” aren’t the same thing. “Well” refers to doing something healthily – with balance – where as “perfect” leaves no room for my humanity.

In so many ways I’m still the little girl who believes I have to be perfect to be accepted.

I’m still buckling under the weight of every one else’s expectations.
I’m still terrified that who I am isn’t enough.
I’m still trying to accept that God’s grace is enough for me. << Tweet this

I don’t know, maybe I'm the only one that has believes perfection equals acceptance however I’ve got a feeling that there are a lot of us walking around needing to give ourselves more grace (can I get a “Me too” in the comments?).

As I was thinking about writing this blog I was looking for a bible verse. I couldn’t find it, so I googled, “Bible Verse perfect”.

2 seconds later Google returned these results:

21 Bible verses about being a perfect Christian

Be perfect – Clarified King James Version

Ugh! Do you feel it just reading those? The weight to be something you’re not. The feeling that you’ll never measure up.

When I look at scripture I see a lot of bible verses that speak to God being the strength in our weakness, the grace we need when we make mistakes, the one who is present when our knees knock together and our mouths go dry, the carrier of our burdens when they grow to heavy. That doesn’t sound a lot like the actions of God who expects perfection from his people.

Jesus never wanted us to believe we were only accepted when we are perfect. << Tweet this

Like Adele told my seven year-old self, Jesus died because we weren't perfect.

It's worth remembering that Jesus accepted us in our imperfections. Jesus chose to die for us when we were imperfect.

I know these kinds of beliefs are easier to talk about then to stop believing so here are 3 actions I’m taking to break this belief:

1. Naming it

I’ve learnt in life that it’s hard to stop believing anything if I am not first willing to admit that I believe it. That’s part of what this blog is about. I’m breaking up with the need to perfect. And I’m doing it in public. That’s part of the reason that you’re reading this on a website that is half-finished. In the past I would never have let you see something that wasn’t perfect or finished but if I’m going to change a lot I need to start with small things.

2. Practicing helpful statements

If you’re a perfectionist this won’t come as a surprise to you but perfectionism comes with the nasty habit of being hyper self-critical. The best way to break that habit is practice making realistic helpful statements when I think critically. I’m using a lot of bible verses here. Things like, “Making a mistake doesn’t mean I’m failure, God’s grace is enough for me in this”.

3. Having grace for myself

And then I’m not being too hard on myself when I slip back into perfectionist tendencies. A tweet I read last week by Allison Fallon really helped me in this area:

“Have grace for yourself.

Forgive yourself for buying into the belief

that you had to be perfect.”

By the way, the irony that I can feel like a failure at stopping believing I'm perfect is not lost on me.

I know it isn’t easy - I’ve been struggling with this belief since I was a 7 year-old – and I sure haven’t got the hang of it yet, so I’d love to hear from any of you who have broken this belief that perfection is needed for acceptance.

Prayer: Lord, show me daily that your grace is more than enough for every fault, every mistake and every imperfection. Help me to forgive myself as you have forgiven me. Amen.

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7 prayers that got me through 2015

2015-12-21T05:30:00.000+02:00

This will be my last post for the year as I’m taking a bit of a break from writing devotionals or posting over the Christmas season to spend time with family.

I’ll be back to my normal writing routine in the New Year from around 7th of January.
***

As we head towards the end of year I’m beginning to reflect on the places God has taken me through.

I am not the biggest prayer. I don’t wake up at 5am to pray. And I don’t have a set time for prayer either.

I’m more of a pray as I go person. I pray little, short prayers way more than I pray long ones.

I pray what Anne Lamott would call “Help, Thanks, Wow” prayers a lot.

I love walking and talking to God. But I’m not really good at running and praying at the same time.

I am more likely to pray when I’m outside then when I’m locked up in a small room.

And I’m a person who loves borrowing other people’s words when I pray (you’ll see that in the prayers I link to below).

On the other hand I like just making prayers up as I go. I know I can say whatever I want to God. And I do. In fact, last night while I prayed out loud for some people my husband and I love my husband interrupted me and said, “You know you’re rambling right?”

I’ve seen that prayer changes things. I don’t know how and it doesn’t make sense to me why some prayers are answered and others aren’t but somehow prayer works. Even when it feels like I’m talking to the ceiling. I think that might be because there is no formula to prayer.

As I looked back on 2015 I realised that these 9 prayers that I have shared on this blog have set the tone for much of my prayer life. If you’re looking for words to begin chatting to God I hope they help.

How to pray – lessons for anyone who struggles to find the right words

This last week I was asked to write a series of prayers. I answered quickly, “Sure. I’ll do that.” Then I sat down to write them and I froze. I didn’t know what to write. I didn’t know how to pray. My words seemed inadequate. Not pretty enough. Not spiritual enough. So I did what any blocked writer does, I googled: “How to pray” and “Formula’s for prayer.”

Click here to read more

How to pray when you’re feeling reckless about the future

Last year I chose the word, "enough" as my #oneword365. It was a safe word. Much like the word my parents made us memorise as kids so we could let them know if something was wrong without having to come right out and say it.

The word I've chosen this year scares me. It feels like a challenge to God. But the worst kind of challenge. It feels like a gasping for breath when you're submerged under water. It feels like a prayer.

Click here to read more

How to pray when you want God to change your life

Recently I bought a book by Claire Diaz-Ortiz called Hope Runs*. I'm only about half way through but I’ve realised it is book about how God disturbs the life she thought she would have for the life he wanted her to have.

Click here to read more

How to pray when you’re going through hard times

A friend of ours has fought cancer twice. Recently he got a cold and went to the doctor. To cut a long story short they sent him for chest x-ray’s. Those x-rays have shown up a white spot.

I was away when Xylon heard from his friend and so he texted me to let me know. Ending the message with, “please pray!”

How do you pray when your heart is breaking?

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When you feel unloved by God, pray this

Brennan Manning tells a story of 78 year-old nun who was sexually abused by her father from the age of 5. This nun comes to Manning one night at tells him of all the hatred she has felt in her heart for a long, long time. She spoke about going through the motions of religion to keep up appearances. But her heart was so very, very broken.

After listening to her story, and praying for healing, Manning asked her to find a quiet place and pray this prayer every day for the next 30 days

Click here to read more

How to pray when you can't change your circumstances

I find myself praying constantly, "Lord, let it be clear." Part of me thinks I should be praying, “Lord, take me to the place of your greatest blessing” but I can’t find it in me to do that. So instead I’m just praying my heart out and trusting that will be enough.

Click here to read more

How to pray when you are anxious

When I first read about this prayer in in a book by Brennan Manning called “The Furious Longing of God” I thought it sounds too simple but I’ll try it anyway.

I can’t remember the exact words Manning wrote but I remember reading something along the lines of, 'if you pray this prayer every day for one month it will change you.' This prayer has changed me.

Click here to read more

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5 devotionals to help you through hopeless situations

2015-12-17T14:46:00.003+02:00

I write most of the devotionals on this site myself however I love sharing the voices of others who have found Jesus is with them and likes them in the midst of something hard.

Sometimes I ask people who inspire me to write for me, and other times they ask if they can share something.

Here are some of the devotionals written by guests on my site that inspired me and challenged me the most in 2015. (If you'd like to see your devotional on this site in 2016 go here to find out how that can happen).

How I learned not to worry about tomorrow

There is a funny story about this post. I was sitting worrying about what to write on the blog tomorrow. I was thinking about how Xylon just arrived back from 2 weeks away, and how I wanted to spend time with him, and not write. Then I thought let me check my mail and I saw a mail from my friend Nelet with a guest post submission. Not any guest post submission but this one about not worrying about tomorrow. Felt like God was speaking write to me, saying, “See, you’re worth more than many sparrows. I will look after you. Here’s a devotional for tomorrow.” I hope it meets you right where you are just like it did me.

Read this devotional here

When God breathes life into a hopeless situation

This is another guest post that came to me at just the right time. Xylon and I had just heard that it looked like his cancer had reoccurred. This was bad news with few viable (in our minds) treatment options open to us. I was feeling pretty hopeless and then this devotional by Sandra popped into my inbox. May it breathe life into your hopeless situations too.

Read this devotional here

What to do when you no longer feel God’s presence

I loved the honesty of this post that Brett wrote for me. I think, if we’re honest, there are times when every person who believes in Jesus wonders where on earth he is. Brett talks about a time in his life where for 18 whole months he couldn’t feel God presence. Definitely, worth reading.

Read this devotional here

How to know if it is time to leave your past behind

I’m always partial to lending this space to another South African blogger. I hope you’ll enjoy Fran’s story (and feel challenged) about something as every day as a dining room table. I know it got me thinking.

Read this devotional here

What to do when life isn't going the way you want

Kelly asks hard questions in this post. I know for myself these are questions I have to get real and ask myself time and time again. If you’re in a place in your life where you’re wondering why life isn’t going the way you want, or the way you thought the Bible promised it would than this might be the post you need to read (even if you don’t want to).

Read this devotional here

I'm excited to announce the 5 winners of the NIV Bible For Women giveaway that I ran the last few weeks. Congrats to Liesl Amoruso, Tracy Purrington, Desiree van der Merwe, Stacey Betts and Cathy Zodda.

I would have loved to send all my readers Bibles but I'm excited to have more than 5 readers of this blog so I'm not able too! If you didn't win a bible you can either buy one here or download the book of Matthew as a PDF for free.

I’m taking a bit of a break from writing new devotionals over the Christmas season. But I’ll be back to my normal writing routine in the New Year in the meantime would you consider voting for me in the SA Blog Awards? Just click on the big red button that says "VOTE" (-->) and fill in your details. Thanks!

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One question that changes everything when you are worried

2015-12-14T13:03:00.001+02:00

Which one of you can add a single hour to your life or 18 inches to your height by worrying really hard? Luke 12:25 (VOICE)

I love popcorn. No, really, I. Love. Popcorn. I would choose popcorn over chocolate anytime.

We have popcorn at home all the time. We’ve even discovered the best way to make it is in a wok with a lid. Tastier and healthier than the microwaved version.

Last week my husband suggested we go eat popcorn watch a movie with Tom Hanks, called Bridge of Spies. The subject seemed a little heavy for me, but there was popcorn, so I was in.

In the movie, Tom Hanks plays an American lawyer, James B. Donovan who is recruited to defend an arrested Soviet spy, Rudolf Abel, in court, and then help the CIA facilitate an exchange of the spy for the Soviet captured American U2 spy plane pilot, Francis Gary Powers.

Throughout the movie, Abel never seems concerned about anything. Donovan keeps asking him why he doesn’t seem worried and Abel replies with, “Would it help?”

You can watch this 30 second clip from the film to see this dynamic in action:

This phrase, “Would it help?” has stuck with me since we finished the film.

I think Abel’s approach to worrying is one that Jesus would have liked.

In Luke we read that Jesus once said, “Which one of you can add a single hour to your life or 18 inches to your height by worrying really hard?” (tweet this)

Believe me I’ve tried this, so if it were possible I’ll be the oldest woman on earth or at least the tallest.

There have been a couple of stressful situations since we watched the movie when worry has tried to take centre stage and I’ve found myself saying, “Would it help?”

When Xylon and I waited anxiously for the results from his blood test for cancer to come back I had to ask myself, “Would worrying help?” (For those who are interested his blood results showed no sign of cancer. Thank you, God!)

Then there is all the questions and worries around South African President Jacob Zuma's actions in the last week, and the impact on our currency, and the future of our country.

Through all this, I’ve found this simple question so sharply brings into the focus the fact that worry doesn’t add anything to my life.
Neither does worry change a situation that is out of my control nor does worrying help someone I am concerned about.

If you keep reading Luke 12:26-28 you will find that Jesus goes onto say that Jesus goes on to talk about how God takes care of small, transient things and can be depended on to take care of all your big worries.

Next time, you feel worry building, stop and ask this simple question, “Would worrying help?”

Ponder: How do you stop worrying from ruling your life?

Prayer: Jesus, you know how I love to worry. I don’t want worry to rule my life though so today I’m asking for the confidence to believe that when you said you’d take care of me and this situation that you meant it. Amen.

*****

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When your faith is useless

2015-12-07T11:03:00.000+02:00

Dear friends, do you think you’ll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, “Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!” and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn’t it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense? James 2:14-17 (MSG)

I don't weed a lot. At all, really.

In fact, for a year I have walked past a variety of weeds and grasses pushing their way through our paving and thought, ‘Why doesn't someone pull that grass up?’

I'm not sure if I was waiting for a grass fairy to come along and magically clear the paving of weeds but either way I have done nothing about it. For almost 12 whole months.

On Saturday as I picked my way through the weeds I thought, ‘Why doesn’t someone pull that grass up?’ Then I thought, ‘Why don’t I just do it quickly!’

As I gripped grass and tugged to free the roots I thought about how I often do exactly the same thing in my relationship with God. Wait for things to magically change without taking any steps to change myself or the situation.

I remember reading a blog a few years ago by Casey Graham that had a profound effect on me. This paragraph from the blog summarizes the post well:

You are currently doing what you “want” to do.

If you say, “I’m tired of being broke”, but you aren’t reading online articles about wealth, you truly don’t want to be financially free. If you say, “I want a new job”, but you aren’t asking people every week about openings & searching online for companies hiring, you truly don’t want another job. If you say, “I want to be a rock star”, but you aren’t currently playing shows anywhere, you don’t truly want to be a rock star.

Everyone is currently doing what they really want to do.

As I pulled grass, I thought about my relationship with God, and Casey Graham’s blog post, and the verse in the bible says, “Without action, faith is useless.” (<— Tweet this)

I wondered if that verse was maybe a bit like me and weeding. Without actions, thinking about weeding is useless. And that doing things rather than just thinking them doesn’t only apply to weeding, but to our whole lives.

How often do I just pray and expect God to change something?

How often do I pray and act?

And if I only rely on prayer, without action, do I really want what I’m praying about to change?

Maybe God doesn't just want me to pray and ask him to do a work in me, or situations, but that maybe he also wants me to do something, or work on myself, or do something for someone else.

I know this is probably tough to read. It's tough to write. And I'm preaching to myself maybe more than you because I need to hear this right now.

I need to be reminded that faith is not static, it is not one way, it is not dead.

Faith is dynamic and alive; faith is not words but actions.

And I know this isn't simple. I pray all the time for Xylon to remain cancer free. I've been praying more lately as Xylon goes for a check up in the next few weeks. We've been praying AND we've changed our lifestyles. We watch the food we put into our bodies.

We do what we can in the physical, while we cry out for God to meet us in the spiritual. (<— Tweet this)

There are so many other examples though where I only pray and I don’t act. I pray for poverty to end but I can’t tell you one thing I did in the last week that would make a difference. I pray for friends in difficult relationships but I’m too scared to wade into the messy middle and offer them myself.

I haven’t really got this faith in action thing figured out. I probably won’t ever have it sorted.

To be honest, I'm not sure how I got from weeding grass to challenging myself to examine whether I’m living an active, vibrant faith. But I think maybe God had something to do with stopping me from walking by the weeds this weekend. And that there was more that needed to be uprooted in my heart than needed to be pulled out the pavement.

Ponder: How do you actions to your faith? I’d love you to leave a comment.

Prayer: Lord, open my eyes to the places where I need to stop talking about you and start acting like you. Amen (<— Tweet this)

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One bible verse to get your through when you’re feeling overwhelmed (and a Bible Giveaway!)

2015-12-03T11:38:00.000+02:00

From the ends of the earth I call to you,

I call as my heart grows faint;

lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Psalm 61:2 (NIV)

It is so easy to feel overwhelmed at this time of year.

It feels like a race to the finish line.

In South Africa we have our summer holidays in December and it feels like they can’t come soon enough.

And at the same time when I look at everything I have to get done before then I think that is all happening too soon.

I love that the Bible is full of verses that encourage me when I’m wondering how I’m going to make it through the day, or the week, or to the Christmas holidays.

I find when I’m feeling overwhelmed I have a few go to bible verses.

Psalm 61:2 is one of them because it reminds me:

I am never too far for God to hear my plea’s for help
When I’m pushed to the edge of my limits God is my refuge and strength. And with one arm he can lift me up to reside in him.

When life is heavy and hard to take, it’s easy to forget that I’m not alone and I have a God who is a safe harbour.

Ponder: What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Are there any bible verses that encourage you? Share them in the comments.

Prayer: God, you know that I’ve reached the edge of my limits. Please come and be my refuge, a safe place to rest. Amen.

****

There are two things I’ve forgotten to do recently due to all the work related activities I’ve been trying to get done so I’m going to do a bit of housekeeping quick:

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5 ways to be thankful when life isn’t perfect

2015-11-26T05:30:00.000+02:00

Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (MSG)

There are a lot of bible verses about thanking God through hard times.

However, I know when life isn’t perfect and I read them I often think, ‘That’s easy for you to say but you’re not going through what I am. You wouldn’t be thankful if you were in my situation either!’

1 Thessalonians 5:18 is one of those verses that makes me want to roll my eyes sometimes.

Be cheerful. NO. MATTER. WHAT.

Pray. ALL. THE. TIME.

Thank God. NO. MATTER. WHAT. HAPPENS.

Really? Was the person who wrote this even human?

Once I’ve calmed down I usually see how the three of these things impact on each other. They are a cycle really:

Pray Thank God Be cheerful Pray Thank God...

I sometimes forget that joy follows gratitude, and that the way to thank God is to pray. (tweet this)

If you’re struggling with being thankful for an imperfect life at the moment here are three tools I’ve used to try and be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens.

I haven’t quite got it. But who has? Hopefully this will help get you into a cycle of praying, thanking and joying (that is most definitely a word).

1. Toe to head thank you

As a teenager I heard Mike Pilavachi speak at a Soul Survivor event. I can’t remember most of what he said but one thing stuck with me: a prayer of gratitude when you wake up in the morning. I still do this from time-to-time. Basically the idea is that as you wake up in the morning you start at your toes and you thank God for the ability to wiggle them and then you move up naming various body parts and why you are thankful for them until you reach your head. I generally find at the end of this prayer I’m pretty cheerful about the day ahead.

2. Grace

Another way to build gratitude into your life even when you aren’t feeling it is to say grace before your meal. Don’t make this a rote prayer that you learnt at kindergarten. Use each meal as an opportunity to thank God for one good thing in your life. If you’re really drawing a blank, you can always simply thank him that you have food for one meal.

3. The Ann Voskamp method

A few years ago now, Ann Voskamp wrote a beautiful book about how she learnt to embrace gratitude through hard things. It is called One Thousand Gifts and if by some chance you haven’t read it yet, you should. Without giving too much away the basic premise is find 3 things to be grateful for each day. Ann Voskamp’s lists always read like poetry. I tried my own list for a couple of months while Xylon had chemo and I definitely found myself noticing the small things to be thankful for that I might have otherwise missed.

4. Sunset thank you

One of my cousins, Pam, was telling me recently how from the time her children are small she tells them every time they see a sunset that God loves them and just like the sun sets every evening God’s love for them will never change. I thought this was a beautiful idea. It also made me think of the sunset as an opportunity to thank God for being part of the day we just lived. Even if I didn’t feel him there the sunset reminds me that was.

5. Last thought at night

Something I try and do each night as I fall asleep is thank God for at least one thing that happened that day. This prayer is usually really sleepy but it helps me to fall asleep in good frame of mind and forget all the difficult things that might have happened in the day.

One important thing to note: I don’t want to burden you down with something that will become hard to do. Following God shouldn’t be about keeping a list of things to do. So if you read through the list below and you think, ‘This sounds like just one more hard thing to make God happy.’ then don’t feel like you have to do it.

I’m certainly not keeping score.

And God loves you just the way you are. Right now. Doing you, the way he made you.

Ponder: Do any of these ideas sound doable to you? Do you think they’d help get you into a cycle of cheerfulness-prayer-gratitude?

Prayer: God, sometimes life gets me down and I find it hard to see things to be thankful for. Open my eyes to see the gifts you’ve given me in my life. I’m going to start by thanking you for loving me enough to come to earth and die so we can live together forever. Amen.

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Why your life doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful

One surprising thing I often forget to do in the good times

What have you thanked God for lately?

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When you need someone to acknowledge it happened (and it hurt!)

2015-11-23T05:30:00.000+02:00

You see all things;

You saw me growing, changing in my mother’s womb;

Every detail of my life was already written in Your book;

You established the length of my life before I ever tasted the sweetness of it.

Psalm 139:16 (VOICE)

My friend and I walked into the coffee shop at the same time. “Shall we sit here?” she said, pointing to a long table with a bench.

She ordered a cappuccino and I ordered water. Then my friend asked how my foot is.

And out poured this story. This story of why I didn't get stitches when I should have. How I didn't get stitches because the last time I was sick in December I was told I was dramatic. And I didn't want to be dramatic.

So instead I asked the people around me if they thought I needed stitches.

They thought I didn't.

And I didn't want to be dramatic so I listened to them.

I told myself, ‘the body is amazing it can heal itself.’

The cut can’t be as bad as you think.

Four days later, my foot turned pink, started to swell, and I could no longer bend my toes. I decided it was time to be dramatic.

I told Xylon to drive me to the doctor. Where a very kind physician did not lecture me on being irresponsible or even on the importance of self-care.

He simply lifted the bandage. Asked when it happened and said, “I'd expect it to be more healed by now.”

Then he felt my pulse and tested my blood pressure to see if the infection was systemic. Content that it wasn’t he prescribed me antibiotics and sent me home. Telling me it should start healing by Sunday.

On the Monday, I asked to be taken to the doctor again. My foot was getting better but it didn’t seem right to me. I had learnt my lesson. The doctor took one look and prescribed heavier antibiotics.

My friend sat across the table as I told this story and said, “It hurts, hey? It wounds our hearts deeply to be told our pain isn't real, that it doesn't matter?”

I nodded and the wound in my heart throbbed. It throbbed because it was being acknowledged. My pain was being seen.

We spoke about how healing only comes when pain is acknowledged. A wound cannot be treated if the person carrying it acts like it doesn’t exist.

My friend told me how she went to the doctor and told him she was slightly tired. He ran tests and told her, “I don't even know how you walked in here. You shouldn't have enough energy to do that.”

She spoke about how good (bad?) so many of us are at hiding how much pain we feel. And how that makes others think that we’re okay. And how because everyone thinks we are okay they don’t stop to say, “Wow, that looks sore. You were very brave but let’s get you some help now.”

Then she told me about her little girl. Adopted shortly after birth she struggles with her presence not being acknowledged.

The wound my friends' daughter carries isn’t visible, like the cut on my foot, but it is just as real.

My friend went onto tell how their daughters birth-mother never told anyone she was pregnancy. She hid the pregnancy - hid her daughter - shielded her from being known even while the in the womb. This little girl was unseen. Invisible.

And in then there in the coffee shop my friend quoted scripture:

You see all things;

You saw me growing, changing in my mother’s womb;

Every detail of my life was already written in Your book;

You established the length of my life before I ever tasted the sweetness of it.

There was healing in her words, a reminder that the God-who-sees-me knows every detail of my life. (tweet this)

She spoke the words she prays over her daughter but they began to heal my wound of being in pain with no one to take me seriously.

The last few days I’ve cradled that verse in my heart, wrapping it round my heart wound every time I change the dressing on my foot. Reminding myself that it is only when pain is acknowledged that it can be treated and the wound can be healed.

So I wind the bandage round-and-round and whisper: You see all things…

Ponder: As you read this what heart wound began throb? And say, “I’m real, it happened, it hurt.” What steps can you take to acknowledge the pain? Consider seeing a social worker or psychologist to chat through the pain.

Prayer: You are, the One who sees all things. You saw me growing, changing in my mother’s womb and right now you know the details of my life that causing my heart to throb with pain. God who see me show me how to acknowledge this pain I’m feeling so I can taste the sweetness of the life you’ve given me. Amen.

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{You might also like these posts}

3 reminders of God's love for the days you feel invisible, unwanted or held back by your past

When you feel invisible (or one way God reminds me he keeps his promises)

How does God see me?

One thing to remember when you are hurting

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In my free e-book Life, Life and More Life I share thoughts on how to make every moment count gleaned from my experiences of loving my husband through 18 sessions of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. If you would like a free copy please subscribe below to receive my devotionals every Monday and Thursday.

Photo Credits (Creative Commons): Thanks to Unsplash.com and Gratisography | Design: Wendy van Eyck

What you need to know when you're having one tough week

2015-11-19T10:34:00.000+02:00

For God expressed His love for the world in this way: He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not face everlasting destruction, but will have everlasting life. John 3:16 (VOICE)

I’ve had one of those weeks.

It’s been a week when I’m not sure where the to-do list starts or what to tackle next.

Seven days of early mornings, long days, and late nights. Deadlines. Meetings. Launches.

On top of that the email server crashed.

And I got a stomach bug.

This morning as I sat down to write this post I took a deep prayer and said,

“God, what do I need to hear from you today.”

It’s the first time all week that I’ve taken the time to slow down and listen for God. And to be honest if I didn’t have a blog to go out today this time probably wouldn’t have happened either.

As I sat still for a moment and I scanned the list of half written blogs I keep. And one caught my attention.

On the note I had written:

You are loved. 

Jesus Christ is crazy about you. 

He loves you just as you are, not as you should be.

As you are.

Just as you are.

I’ve been so busy that it is easy to lose sight of that.

Maybe it’s hard to remember how much God loves me because it is difficult to understand how crazy his love for me is.

God sent his son to die for me so I could live with him forever. There is no way I can ever comprehend that kind of love.

I think my week has been crazy, but God’s love bends itself around my to-do list, invades my hard conversations and somehow swallows my early mornings, long days and late nights.

It’s weird but God’s love is big enough that he has been present in everything I’ve done. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t noticed how he helped me say the right words or how his love was present when I was tired and felt alone.

I allowed my schedule to let me lose sight of the fact that God loves me not because of what I do but because of who I am.

I am his.

I am his beloved.

Even on my craziest/saddest/hardest days God has never let me out of his sight.

In fact on those days I think he is close enough to see the freckles on my face.

What I’m trying to say is no matter what you are going through God loves you. He sees you. And if you look for his love you will find it in the places where you least expect it. Even in the middle of one of those weeks.

God. Loves. You. Don’t lose sight of that.(tweet this)

Ponder: Do you ever lose sight of the fact that God loves you? I’d love you to share in the comments the things that help you remember how much God loves you.

Prayer: Thank you that you love me, God. Help me to rest in your love. Amen.

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Does it feel like God’s love has failed you?

What to do when you feel unloved and insecure

3 truths to get you through the worst days of your life

One truth that could change your relationship with God

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3 truths to get you through the worst days of your life

2015-11-12T08:06:00.000+02:00

You are my strength; I wait for you to rescue me,

for you, O God, are my fortress. Psalm 59:9 (NLT)

We were fresh off a plane from a six-week holiday backpacking round South East Asia when we heard words that would change the course of our lives.

The surgeon who just a few days before had biopsied a node under Xylon’s arm sat across from us and told us, “The results are clear. You have Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.”

We had so many questions. And so few of the questions that would give us the answers we desperately wanted.

Answers like:

Would he be okay?

Would he live?

Would cancer have the final say?

Doctors can’t give you answers to questions like that.

We left the office and I returned to work. Holding everything inside. Too afraid to speak the words, hoping that if I never said them out loud, they wouldn’t be true.

We heard those words, “The results are clear. You have Hodgkin’s Lymphoma,” or a variation of them, another four times since that first visit. The last time it turned out that the results weren’t clear, and Xylon has been cancer-free for 18 months.

Those are days – years really – that I never want to relive.

Many of those days were the worst days of my life.

Many times I wasn’t sure how I’d get through.

I only did because of God. I’ve written before about how I felt held by God. I don’t really know how to explain that but the feeling of being cupped in his hand was very real to me.

There was something else that got me through that was more than a feeling.

Many times feelings will not be enough to sustain you through dark days. (tweet this)

On those days you need to speak the truth even when you don’t feel it.

Here are 3 truths that helped me the worst days of my life:

God is with me

God is my strength

God is my security

There are many bible verses for each of these truths but there Psalm 59:9 helps me remember all three.

It starts with God, which makes me remember that he is always with me. Then it reminds me of his strength to rescue me, and his ability to protect and shield me.

I recently read a paraphrase of this verse, by Jennifer Rothschild, which I love:

God is your strength when you are weary.

He is your safe place when you are insecure.

Even though I'm no longer walking through the hard days of cancer I’ve been whispering this paraphrase to myself lately.

I’ve found speaking this truth when I’m feeling tired of having a hurting foot or when something happens at work that makes me feel insecure has helped me to remember that God is with me and with his strength I can do hard things.

Ponder: What gets you through the worst days?

Prayer: Lord, I’m feeling [name what you are feeling e.g. insecure, weak, afraid]. Help me remember that you are with me. Help me to lean on you when I feel weak and to remember that you are my security when everything is shifting.

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{You might also like these posts}

Why You Will Survive The Worst Day Of Your Life

How I learned not to worry about tomorrow

Can God change my life?

When your Prince Charming isn’t who you think he is

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In my free e-book Life, Life and More Life I share thoughts on how to make every moment count gleaned from my experiences of loving my husband through 18 sessions of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. If you would like a free copy please subscribe below to receive my devotionals every Monday and Thursday.

Photo Credits (Creative Commons): Unsplash.com | Design: Wendy van Eyck

How to connect with God

2015-11-09T12:21:00.003+02:00

“Teacher, which command in God’s Law is the most important?”

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. Matthew 22:36-38 (MSG)

I recently succumbed to the adult colouring fad.

At the beginning of my colouring book it says there are no rules. It goes on to say, “In order to truly enjoy this colouring book, you must remember there is no wrong way – or right way – to paint or use colour.”

I've found this liberating.

I also didn't realise just how many rules I have for myself.

I constantly speak to myself (in my head) while colouring and my dialogue goes something like this:

Can I do that colour?

Wendy, you’ve just messed it up by choosing that colour.

You are pressing too hard.

Now that you’ve coloured red there this picture won’t work out.

Should I put these colours together?

Relax, there are no rules.

I know right, colouring in sounds like a pretty stressful exercise for me when you get inside my head?

As I’ve been colouring I’ve been thinking about all these rules I’ve made for something that is meant to be fun and relaxing.

For instance, rules about colours that can and can’t go together. Yes, colour theory can help when choosing colours but it wasn’t ever meant to take the joy of colouring away.

It's also got me wondering about all the unnecessary rules I have about how to connect with God.

I must read the bible once a day

I must pray every day (at least once, but preferably every morning and night)

I must listen to Christian worship

I must hang out only with others who love Jesus

I must read books about God

While those are all good things and they can help me connect with God they are a bit like worrying over colour theory.

God didn’t invite us to fulfil a checklist of tasks every day under a heading, “Connect with God”. He invited us into a relationship with him.

This has made me think of the Pharisees a bit. The Pharisees were a group of people in Jesus’ day who allowed their relationship with God to be reduced to a legalistic list of rules and rituals.

In Matthew 22:36-38, the Pharisees came to Jesus and asked:

“Teacher, which command in God’s Law is the most important?”

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list.

I love that when Jesus replied with a command it was about loving God, many versions say with all your heart, soul and mind. Loving God like that doesn’t come with a set of rules, like colouring it leaves many of the options about how we want that to look open to us.

My long list of “do’s and don’ts” might be keeping me from connecting with God. (tweet this)

I recently read Donald Millers book, Scary Close, in there he writes about how he connects with God through work. I connect with God running and being creative and writing. I know others who connect with God through gardening, or playing with kids, or going to Church.

There are a million different ways to colour every picture, and there are a million different ways for each of us to connect with God. (tweet this)

Ponder: What are you currently doing that makes you feel connected to God? What are you currently doing to connect to God that does nothing for you?

Prayer: Lord, show me how to better love you with all my passion and prayer and intelligence. Amen.

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When all you hear is silence

How to know if God hears your prayers

When you're not sure which way to turn

One way to read the bible (and one thing I've learnt about God by doing this)

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In my free e-book Life, Life and More Life I share thoughts on how to make every moment count gleaned from my experiences of loving my husband through 18 sessions of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. If you would like a free copy please subscribe below to receive my devotionals every Monday and Thursday.

Photo Credits (Creative Commons): Unsplash.com | Design: Wendy van Eyck

One thing to remember when you are hurting

2015-11-05T08:44:00.000+02:00

As a result of this encounter, Hagar decided to give the Eternal One who had spoken to her a special name because He had seen her in her misery.

Hagar: I’m going to call You the God of Seeing because in this place I have seen the One who watches over me. Genesis 16:13 (VOICE)

According to people who know me I'm dramatic when sick or hurt.

I would disagree, but really, what do I know when I'm arguing with someone (Xylon) who has had a bone marrow transplant and someone else (my mom) who has had their heart shocked back to rhythm multiple times?

On Sunday, I stepped on a piece of glass while walking on the beach.

The cut was clean, but pretty deep, and about 3cm long.

There was blood. I want to say there was a lot of blood but fear the aforesaid people might think I'm dramatic.

All I had was a tissue. And about 1km to walk across the beach to the car.

I asked Xylon for the drawstring on his pants, and tied it round the tissue and my foot as a makeshift MacGyver shoe, and then we walked home as fast as I could.

That’s it. Not dramatic at all.

Well, there was one slightly dramatic pause when I burst into tears and cried, "How will we ever make it to the car?"

But I'm blaming that one on shock.

To be honest, I know I can be dramatic when I’m sick or hurt.

But if it helps at all, I also know why I’m dramatic. I want someone to notice me. I want people to react in a way that signals that I matter, in a way that tells me, “I’ve seen your hurt.”

There’s a story in the bible that I strongly identify with.

It’s about a woman who was hurt in ways I can’t even imagine. Hagar, a slave, she was used by her mistress, made to sleep with her owners wife, and then when she became pregnant with his child was treated badly by her mistress.

Hagar finds herself out in the desert discarded, thirsty and pregnant. Genesis 16 tells us that the Special Messenger of the Eternal One found Hagar alone by a spring of water out in the desert.

The Special Messenger gives her all kinds of promises from God and at the end of it the Bible says,

“Hagar decided to give the Eternal One who had spoken to her a special name because He had seen her in her misery.

Hagar: I’m going to call You the God of Seeing because in this place I have seen the One who watches over me.” (tweet this)

I don’t identify with this story because of what Hagar went through. Her misery is way worse than any I have experienced. Cutting my foot on the beach is a really bad comparison.

I identify with this story because, every time I read it, I remember God is the One who watches over me, who sees my misery.

It reminds me that God not only sees me but he responds to me:

God doesn’t leave me broken. He brings to completion the work he starts (Phil 1:6).

God is my help in trouble. He is safe place to share my misery (Psalm 46:1).

God makes all things new. All. Things. (Revelation 21:5).

I think these things are true whether I’m speaking about physical pain (like my foot) or emotional pain (like Hagar).

These days as I’m (dramatically) limping towards wholeness I’m reminding myself that:

God sees me.

God responds to my pain.

God is present in my misery. (tweet this)

Ponder: What are you dramatic about in your life in the hope that someone will you see the misery you are hiding?

Prayer: Eternal One, thank you that you know you my name and see me in my misery. Help me to remember that are the God of Seeing and you watch over me. I can’t wait to see how you make all things new. Amen.

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{You might also like these posts}

How to pray when someone hurts you

When God makes something out of pain

Why I know Jesus would do anything to take your pain away

How to pray when your heart is breaking

{Get my book - for free!}

In my free e-book Life, Life and More Life I share thoughts on how to make every moment count gleaned from my experiences of loving my husband through 18 sessions of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. If you would like a free copy please subscribe below to receive my devotionals every Monday and Thursday.

Photo Credits (Creative Commons): Unsplash.com | Design: Wendy van Eyck

What to do when you feel unloved and insecure

2015-11-02T13:27:00.003+02:00

It’s my birthday today. And I’ve been trying to find something that I could write that would adequately share some of my gratitude for life and for my family.

But everything I try to write doesn’t seem as appropriate as this post I wrote a couple of years ago so I’ve decided to share it again instead:

And so you are no longer called outcasts and wanderers but citizens with God’s people, members of God’s holy family, and residents of His household. Ephesians 2:19 (VOICE)

The year I turned 13 my parents asked me what I wanted for a present.

I could have asked for anything. I wouldn’t necessarily have got it but I could have asked for anything.

All I wanted was a box filled with reasons why my family loved me.

Growing up my parents never gave me any real reason to doubt that they loved me but still I felt unloved and insecure.

On my birthday, I opened up a little white box with thousands of pieces of paper from my brothers and my parents with the words “I love you.”

That box did more than just remind me that I was loved, it reminded me that I belonged.

It told me that I was part of a family that embraced me.

That I was connected to a clan of people who would write “I love you” on a piece of paper and put it in a box with thousands of others just because I asked to be loved that way.

The other day I came across a quote that reminded me of that box:

Whenever you feel unloved, unimportant or insecure, remember to whom you belong. (tweet this)

In tiny letters underneath it referenced Ephesians 2:19. I pulled out my bible and flicked to the verse.

I read the words out loud – slowly – personalizing it:

And so I am no longer called an outcast and a wanderer but a citizen with God’s people, a member of God’s holy family, and a resident of His household.

I thought about that little white box, and those thousands of papers, and how the mixture of belonging had somehow loved me to wholeness.

Realizing I belonged helped me to feel less unloved.

I thought about how God wants us to know how much he loves us, and what better way to do that then to tell us we belong in every way possible.

I am a citizen with God’s people.

I am a member of God’s family.

I am a resident of God’s household.

There is no getting round the fact that I belong with God and to God.

And that I am loved by God.

I am God’s beloved child.

It’s been 20 years since I asked for an “I-Love-You” box but there are still days when I feel unloved, unimportant or insecure.

I’m learning that perhaps I never needed that box, what I really needed was to read the words in Ephesians 2:19 until my soul believed them, until this truth was written on my heart:

I belong to God, and I am wholly and fully known, and loved by him. (tweet this)

Ponder: When you have felt unloved, unimportant or insecure in the past how have you dealt with it? How will this verse help you to behave differently.

Prayer: Lord, I’m having one of those days when I need to be reminded that I am loved and important to you. Help me believe Eph 2:19. Amen.

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In my free e-book Life, Life and More Life I share thoughts on how to make every moment count gleaned from my experiences of loving my husband through 18 sessions of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. If you would like a free copy please subscribe below to receive my devotionals every Monday and Thursday.

Photo Credits: Blue fabric: nicholaslaughlin I love you: niznoz Green Heart: xurde (all found via photopin cc) | Design: Wendy van Eyck

What makes a good Christian?

2015-10-29T05:30:00.000+02:00

If you want to follow Me, you must deny yourself the things you think you want. You must pick up your cross and follow Me. Matthew 16:24 (VOICE)

Do you ever feel like there is some secret list on what makes a good Christian?

I sometimes wonder if it exists because I hear the phrase “That wasn’t very Christian” or “I’m not a good Christian a lot”.

I even sometimes think, “I’m not a good Christian”.

I don’t go to church.

I don’t read my bible every day.

My prayers are random little sentences thrown up to God at all hours not long, holy missives in the early hours of the morning.

I don’t always tell my friends “Jesus is the answer” to every question.

I lose my temper.

And I’m impatient and unkind more than I care to admit.

I lie.

I’ve taken things that weren’t mine.

And I sometimes wish I lived someone else’s life.

That list isn’t even complete but it begins to paint a picture of the type of Christian I am.

In my head the secret list of what makes a good Christian goes something like this:

Virgin

Never had alcohol

Have no idea what swear words are

Attends church 2-3 times per week

Never cut their hair

That last one snuck in there but it does show that my idea of the perfect Christian has been deeply influenced by stories of Mary, Samson, David and John the Baptist.

Ironic, isn’t it? The Bible actually goes pretty far to show how none of those people were perfect. All of them would fail in one-way or another at the “good Christian” list.

And then there is Jesus. He said, “Come follow me”, to people who didn’t look anything like a “good Christians”.

I’ve always loved that Jesus said, “Come follow me”.

Jesus didn’t issue a command to act like him. Jesus gave an invitation to walk with him.

I think Jesus knew that I wouldn’t become more like him simply from following a list of “do’s and don’ts.(tweet this)

I think Jesus knew, for people like Peter, Matthew, Luke and me, it would take more than that. It would take time for me to learn to trust him, and then time for me to like him, and then time for me to want to be inspired to live a better way.

I wonder if when Jesus said, “Come follow me” he knew that the road they’d walk together wouldn’t always be a straight one. I’m sure there are plenty of times when Jesus and the disciples stood at a crossroads and argued about which way to go. Or when the disciples said, “Jesus, you’re out of your mind!”

I often forget just how human those that chose to follow Jesus were. They didn’t put down their fishing nets and suddenly become a “good Christian”.

I think Jesus knew that following him wouldn’t be easy. In Matthew 16:24, Jesus said to his disciples, “If you want to follow Me, you must deny yourself the things you think you want. You must pick up your cross and follow Me.”

That doesn’t sound like a walk in the park, hand-in-hand into the sunset. And it certainly doesn’t sound like any list of what makes a good Christian I’ve ever read.

If you ask me, between those two “follow me’s” is a lot of space for stumbling, for questioning, for turning around and saying, “Sorry, Jesus, this is too tough I’m going home.” But I think Jesus wanted us to know that being uncertain, messing up, and making mistakes is part of following him.

This gives me so much hope because if I have to be a good Christian to follow Jesus than I won’t make the cut.

But most of Jesus’ followers wouldn’t either.

I think Jesus’ requirements of what makes a good Christian sound more like this:

Come follow me, and try your best to keep in step beside me, but when you fall I’ll be the first to offer you a hand up.

When I read that I think, “I could be a good Christian.”

Ponder: What do you think it means to be a good Christian?

Prayer: Jesus, I want to follow you. I know I’ll stumble sometimes but I also know that you’ll be there to give me a hand-up when I need it. Thank you that you never make me feel like I’m not good enough to follow you. Amen.

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{Get my book - for free!}

In my free e-book Life, Life and More Life I share thoughts on how to make every moment count gleaned from my experiences of loving my husband through 18 sessions of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. If you would like a free copy please subscribe below to receive my devotionals every Monday and Thursday.

Photo Credits (Creative Commons): Unsplash.com | Design: Wendy van Eyck

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