I've been a bad friend. Can we start over?
What do you say to kickstart a friendship when you’ve been the one not responding to emails, facebook posts and calls for a while?
How do you start explaining that you’re not exactly sure why you stopped participating just that you couldn’t anymore?
And what do you say when you’re not sure that you can offer the kind of consistency that you did in the past?
Okay, however I do this it’s going to be a bit of an awkward conversation so I hope you’re reading this post a bit like you would to a conversation with a friend you haven’t seen a while but want to give a second chance too.
I’m sorry that I went silent at the end of last year. I’m not exactly sure why. I’d maybe say that I’ve just felt a bit directionless.
When I started the blog I did it because I wanted to get published. And to do that I knew I needed to write. I also needed a space to process the emotions I felt while my husband, Xylon, went through cancer treatment.
I found that here.
A publisher found me too.
In fact two did, both well-known publishers for some of the biggest names in Christian Non-Fiction. One I wrote some devotionals for which you can read in the NIV Bible for Women published by Zondervan in 2015. The other publisher I wrote a book proposal for at their request. They liked it but they needed me to have more of a platform.
When I dug deeper I discovered that meant they wanted me to speak at events and use any connections I had to get that speaking career going. I thought about it. I brainstormed contacts and places to start. I prayed about it and I decided that I didn’t want to write a book that badly. I’m an introvert. I don’t like presenting to people and I don’t like being away from home for work. So I got back to the publisher and basically told them that – knowing that it would mean closing the door on that possibility. But I was okay with that. I felt comfortable in my own skin. I’m still happy with that decision. It felt right for me.
Since I started writing Xylon also - all glory to God - got better and hasn’t needed any treatment for cancer for the last three years but this left me not knowing what to write about here. I was no longer writing to get published and no longer writing to process Xylon’s cancer treatment.
Last year, I tried to write around a theme, “well”, and I found that I didn’t have a lot to say and blogging felt a bit like a chore.
I’d like to start blogging again but I’m not really sure what you’d like to hear from me, or what kind of schedule I can keep, so I’m going to do what I maybe should have done from the beginning and ask you how this space can serve you.
What kinds of content do you want to see more of? Less of? What are the biggest challenges facing you that I can help you overcome? Here's your chance to tell me. It should only take 4-5 minutes.
Click this link to begin the survey. I'm so grateful for your help.