When you're not living well but you want to live better

4:40 pm Wendy van Eyck 0 Comments


As many of you know I'm on a "well" journey this year. Exploring what it means to not only live well but learn to love, read and run well. 

Today, I'm sharing Nelet's "well" journey. I loved what she shared because it is so honest. If you'd like to share your own "well" journey please submit your stories here

All of us have times in our lives where "well" seems like an impossible concept. Xylon and I have just come out of a time like that. One of my brothers who has Crohn's disease said the other day that he can't remember a time when he felt "well".

Maybe you're in that season too and wondering what you can do. I hope Nelet's post offers you some measure of hope or at least the comfort that you are not alone.

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I can't write about living well. Eating well, sleeping well or doing anything "well", really.

I started a new job. One that I like. It wasn't my first choice: the Bulletin Producer job was.  So here I am: an artie. The place I never thought I'd be: I'm way too logical and too much of an admin freak to work in Art department. 

With this new, creative, feels-like-I'm-getting-paid-to-play job comes working 6 days a week, 12 hour days. 12 hours being the minimum: walls require 2-3 coats of paint, paint takes actual time to dry, banners and bunting needs to be made and pink drinks, Sunday dishes and pudding takes time to prepare.   

It means that I hardly have time to bath, never-mind to see my friends, speak to my mother or look up at the sky.  

I don't live well. I've gained 5kg since I started working this job I don't have time to clean my house. My clean laundry has made a permanent home on my couch and when I speak to friends, I find myself too exhausted to care. 

I get the call, Friday at 11:00. My mother is in hospital, she collapsed at work. As I rush to hospital, my mind comes to a halt. What if? The last time I spoke to her I was in a bad mood, frustrated and complaining. 

Is work really all there is? Is working 85 hours a week worth it? 

So I do what my logical mind does best: I made a list. My list became about living an honest, balanced life. One where I can meet friends, see my family, not be too tired to travel the world, wake up on a Sunday morning for Park run and have healthy food in my fridge to eat. 

Between all this I pray the one prayer I prayed repeatedly in India. It’s a prayer that the dominee or pastor says at the end of a church service in the Dutch Reformed Church in South Africa. Translation from Afrikaans my own:

Die Here sal jou seën en jou beskerm
Die Here sal tot jou redding verskyn en jou genadig wees
Die Here sal jou gebede verhoor,
en aan jou Sy vrede gee. 

The Lord will bless you and protect you
The Lord will rescue you and be merciful to you
The Lord will hear your prayers
And give you His peace

I'm not sure about life. I'm not living well, but I can pray. And I do, over and over. 

NOTE FROM WENDY: If you’re struggling to find words to pray in your hard seasons here are seven prayers that got me through last year.

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About Nelet Kok: 
I'm a big dreamer with a big need for adventure, cool television content, and wanting to live a simple life. I love traveling to everywhere weird & wonderful.  I like politics, history, animals and people that take the road less traveled by. 

You can find me on Facebook or read more on my blog: http://vlerkdans.blogspot.com/ 

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