What to do when you feel unloved and insecure

1:27 pm Wendy van Eyck 0 Comments

It’s my birthday today. And I’ve been trying to find something that I could write that would adequately share some of my gratitude for life and for my family. 

But everything I try to write doesn’t seem as appropriate as this post I wrote a couple of years ago so I’ve decided to share it again instead: 


And so you are no longer called outcasts and wanderers but citizens with God’s people, members of God’s holy family, and residents of His household. Ephesians 2:19 (VOICE)

The year I turned 13 my parents asked me what I wanted for a present. 

I could have asked for anything. I wouldn’t necessarily have got it but I could have asked for anything.  

All I wanted was a box filled with reasons why my family loved me. 

Growing up my parents never gave me any real reason to doubt that they loved me but still I felt unloved and insecure. 

On my birthday, I opened up a little white box with thousands of pieces of paper from my brothers and my parents with the words “I love you.”

That box did more than just remind me that I was loved, it reminded me that I belonged. 

It told me that I was part of a family that embraced me. 

That I was connected to a clan of people who would write “I love you” on a piece of paper and put it in a box with thousands of others just because I asked to be loved that way. 

The other day I came across a quote that reminded me of that box:
Whenever you feel unloved, unimportant or insecure, remember to whom you belong. (tweet this)

In tiny letters underneath it referenced Ephesians 2:19. I pulled out my bible and flicked to the verse.

I read the words out loud – slowly – personalizing it:

And so I am no longer called an outcast and a wanderer but a citizen with God’s people, a member of God’s holy family, and a resident of His household.

I thought about that little white box, and those thousands of papers, and how the mixture of belonging had somehow loved me to wholeness.
Realizing I belonged helped me to feel less unloved.

I thought about how God wants us to know how much he loves us, and what better way to do that then to tell us we belong in every way possible. 

I am a citizen with God’s people.
I am a member of God’s family.
I am a resident of God’s household.

There is no getting round the fact that I belong with God and to God. 
And that I am loved by God.

It’s been 20 years since I asked for an “I-Love-You” box but there are still days when I feel unloved, unimportant or insecure

I’m learning that perhaps I never needed that box, what I really needed was to read the words in Ephesians 2:19 until my soul believed them, until this truth was written on my heart: 
I belong to God, and I am wholly and fully known, and loved by him. (tweet this)

Ponder: When you have felt unloved, unimportant or insecure in the past how have you dealt with it? How will this verse help you to behave differently. 

Prayer: Lord, I’m having one of those days when I need to be reminded that I am loved and important to you. Help me believe Eph 2:19. Amen.

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Photo Credits: Blue fabric: nicholaslaughlin I love you: niznoz Green Heart: xurde (all found via photopin cc) | Design: Wendy van Eyck

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