If your life feels too random for God to be in control

5:30 am Wendy van Eyck 0 Comments

Psalm 18:2
 The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. Psalm 18:2 (NLT)

Tuesday was a bad day. 

I almost burst into tears while talking to the CEO of one of our partner companies. 

I knew it wasn’t about the problem we wear dealing with in the meeting. I knew it was about what is going on with Xylon’s health, about the back and forth of cancer treatments, the unknown moments while waiting for results. 

My emotional angst was right below the surface and it bubbled out at the wrong time. 

A few hours later I wanted some praise and worship to settle my soul. 

I put the music on shuffle and said, “God, play me the song with the words I need to hear.”

For as long as I can remember I’ve allowed God to choose the songs when I press shuffle. 

Your love is like a rock when I'm spinningIn my teen years I told God that if he could control my life then he could control my CD player. So quite often I find myself pressing shuffle and seeing what God has to say to me. 

But that day when I pressed shuffle nothing happened.  (I say this so that if you try this and nothing happens you don’t feel alone or like God speaks to me exclusively.)

The band sang a song about Jesus being alive. It was a nice. But the song didn’t speak to my aching soul.

I decided to use an approach I sometimes use for bible reading, go till I feel I should stop. 

I left shuffle on and prayed that God would turn my ears to the words he had for me.

I let the music wash over me. I listened to the words and waited to hear God speak. And then this song started playing:
Well, I've been hit from every corner
And I've been thrown from side to side
And the cracks up on the inside
So I come to You for life
Yesterday I felt so angry
And today so insecure
And I hate it that I wrestle
With the God that I adore

Your presence always heals me
So I wanna drink it in
You know where we're going, God
And You know where I've been

And Your love is like a rock when I'm spinning
Your love is like a rock when I'm spinning
Your love is like a rock when I'm spinning
(Lyrics by Charlie Hall: My Brightness)

And right there, in my worry I felt like God saying he’s my rock. He’s where I will be secure.

I don’t know about you but sometimes the things that happen in my life seem so random, so hard, so cruel that I wonder if God really is in control. 

For me each time God uses a song to speak to my hungry heart he reminds me he’s a lot bigger than my fears. 

If God can control shuffle on my music player I’m pretty sure he can control my future. (tweet this)

Ponder: When has God spoken to you through a song? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments. 

Pray: Thank you Lord, that your love is like a rock when I’m spinning. 

P.S. I wrote this devotional before we saw the oncologist on Wednesday afternoon for the results of Xylon’s PET scan. There were no cancer cells. Praise the Lord! You can see how Xylon feels about that here.

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