When you're wondering if God is broken (or what happens when all you can hear is silence)

5:20 am Wendy van Eyck 0 Comments

[A note from Wendy: Today I'm giving this space to Rachel Franklin, a woman who doesn't allow her circumstances to limit her view of God.]
Zepheniah 3:17
The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

The white awning shows slats like piano keys. Rectangular pieces all in a row with one bent backward here and there become broken keys, ivory plucked right up. I feel it tragic, as though I stand in a junkyard to dump off a decades old piano. Similar to a string strummed on an instrument, the storefront awning reverberates as it leaves my car window.

The music, I cannot hear it.

My ears have been stopped up for seems near forever, but going on eight months, from unexplained congestion. It has become part of life. And sometimes I cannot hear the tune.

A rest or interlude does not mean the tune is broken; it does not mean God is broken. (tweet this)

The whole rhapsody is God breathing. It is all life.

The world, you know, it just gets too loud. 

I want the record to keep the rhythm, and replay, whether I am hearing the lines of the song or not. I look for perpetuity like a nightlight. I want the comfort of vigilant, dim yellow for the times I need soothing. Just in case. 

But the Singer does not sing for happenstance. “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” 

Yes, sometimes that tune I have come to love sounds like it has ceased. I feel as if I am enclosed in a theater devoid of strings, woodwinds, brass, and the very Conductor Himself. The crescendos and staccatos, with their precise forms, begin to depreciate in value. Are they lost on ears working to listen?

These annotations of the arrangement must not deafen us. I need not let the inquiries rain down white-noise snow in its mix of black and white, light and dark. 

There is light and there is dark. And I can allow my God to direct my hearing in both. (tweet this)

Quotes about direction
Oswald Chambers says, “There is darkness which comes from excess of light, and then is the time to listen. […] Abraham went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed; there was no possibility left of relying on common-sense ways. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not displeasure.”

Can I learn to lift up the lulls in love? For right after the lull, there is the aby. There is a lullaby. 

There is a song sung over the furrowed brows with counted hairs spooning the forehead from sweat. As my ear is to the Father’s heart, I, His child, will hear it: all ends in song. I am at peace, at rest, in Him.

There will be times the words will get choked by my throat, or I question if my ears are clogged, or forget I must discipline myself in the dark.

But then
I hear it again,
the song -
He continues to sing.

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Ponder: Currently, where can you see giving in to the silence might be the greatest spiritual discipline you can practice right now? How can you learn to refine your listening abilities?

Pray: Lord, I ask you to give me strength to rely upon Your word, how “Faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.” Help me to trust in all decibels.

{More about the author of this guest devotional}
Rachel Franklin is a twenty-seven-year-old wife, writer, and artist. In 2010, she spent a year within the four walls of her home. Since then, life has been autoimmune diseases including chronic Epstein Barr Virus. But beyond this? Each day Rachel’s slaying limitations and studying the freedom rising like dawn. She’s not giving up on resurrecting freedom. You can join her at www.RachelFranklinWrites.com


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Photo Credit (Creative Commons): Piano Keys: rkramer62 Dancehorrigans Flowers: jasohill  | Design: Wendy van Eyck

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