What It Feels Like To Be Held By God

7:49 am Wendy van Eyck 4 Comments

The minute I said, "I'm slipping, I'm falling," your love, God, took hold and held me fast. Psalm 94:18 (MSG)

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We’ve seen three oncologists.

Ultrasounds, and CAT machines, and my anxious eyes have scanned him.

Together we have visited a fertility specialist, sat in the parking lot of a sperm bank, and decided to trust God with any future generations.

My husband has had a bone marrow biopsy.

My husband has had two operations.

He has fought through eleven chemotherapy sessions.

There have been infections and sleepless nights and at times pain has kept him in bed all day.

And then, there has been this overwhelming, undergirding, engulfing feeling of being held. Of being safe in the arms of the one who created us, who breathed life into us, who knew us before we were born, before cancer, before all of this.

When nothing makes sense and life feels hard, the God who knows the hair on our heads and the beginning from the end, somehow presses us to his heart and lets us know it’s going to be okay, and that he has been holding fast.  

And many days, being held by the everlasting God, is enough. 

Everything hasn’t been made better but I’ve been comforted, secure and loved by God. 

And when I’ve cried out for help, I’ve been held.

And it feels like love. 

Do you need God to hold you? Seize the promise in Psalm 94: 18-19, and ask God to hold you, when you’re slipping and falling.

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